So, it’s been awhile since I’ve posted anything on my blog….I needed to take a break from Blogland, Facebook & Twitter for a few months.
It had to be all or nothing…I needed to reprioritize. To put my family first & focus more on homeschooling my high schoolers.
I also had more responsibilites added to my (volunteer) position with our soccer league.
In my attempt to be a more intentional blogger (see the previous post), I don’t want to just throw anything onto my blog.
I feel that I need a purpose, a focus. I realize that right now my writing/sharing should be about where I am right now –
not where I wish I was, envying those who have the time, $, skills & focus that I don’t have or
in a “perfect” world where everything is clean and organized and beautiful.
So, as I was talking to me hubby yesterday I said, “I used to think that I LOVED to organize!”
You know, when you open up the cupboards and all the containers are labeled…or the sheets are separated by size
(not just thrown into the cupboard haphazardly!)…the utensils are neatly arranged in the drawers…the “junk” drawer is something
you are proud to show anyone who will look! The clothes are neatly lined up according to season, type & color…
I used to enjoy taking the time to do all of that.
Now, I wish I had the time to do it and instead feel guilty that my home is not “perfect”.
As I was thinking about my “real” life, I realized that I spend way too much time thinking about how un-organized I am
and making myself feel guilty (which by the way, does not motivate me to organize my “piles”!)
What’s the answer? Do I continue to wallow in my piles and get more and more depressed about it?
Or feel guilty because I can’t seem to pull a workable plan together and stick with it?
I love lists and need them to organize my day, but sometimes the list of “things to do” is so overwhelming
that I toss it aside until I guilt myself into picking it back up again!
I have tried a hundred times to make a “schedule”. I have books & binders full of ideas on how to get myself organized,
step-by-step, one day at a time, even down to the hour! But, I confess, I am inconsistent.
I get tired and don’t feel like picking up or “shining my sink” before bed
or getting dressed “down to the shoes” when I first get up in the morning!
I am definitely not a morning person…or a night owl for that matter!
What I am is a home schooling Mom, who also volunteers part-time hours (seems more like 24/7!) to our soccer league,
has three very busy kiddos – all of whom play on competitive, traveling soccer teams…two of which my hubby coaches,
so we are busy 4 nights a week and most weekends. And I’m supposed to plan & prepare meals,
grocery shop (clip coupons, of course), maintain our budget, pay bills, keep the house clean, wash the laundry
and maintain everyone’s schedules – thank God for Blackberry’s!
Whew, I need a nap now!
So, I guess the only thing I can do is to start again! “I think I can, I think I can…”
*I need to renew my attitude and my perspective – daily quiet time
*I need to take better care of myself – exercise a bit each day, eat better, sleep more…
*I need to do something that I “LOVE” to do each day; whether it’s reading a book or a blog for a few minutes each day,
I need to have something to look forward to doing just for me!
*I would like to be more consistent in my blogging & twittering , being mindful of the amount of time I spend doing it–
I miss you all so much!
I may start following FlyLady again, but slowly at first so as not to burn myself out!
I need consistency in my life but I tend to start out all gung-ho and then get frustrated when I realize I can’t do it all!
So, that’s where I’m at…are any of you struggling with similar issues?
I would love it, if you would share! Misery loves company – just kidding!
But really, I know that I could use some inspiration from those who’ve “been there”
and some encouragement and ideas to get me going!
Thanks for listening!